Our projects are quickly coming to a close, and as our deadlines come closer the workload has intensified. Our team has finished painting the interior of the safe house and are now finishing projects outside. It has brought me into a whole new realm of work way beyond my skill set! I find myself digging, hammering, sanding, and gardening--I even learned how to use a saw the other day. I have definitely realized that it is okay not to know what you're doing all the time; fortunately I have a supportive and talented team who are there to help (and to fix my mistakes when necessary!).
This describes the past week in a nutshell, from my journal:
I spent Friday shoveling with two nine year olds, digging holes for our playground structure. There was some sort of building collapse in Johannesburg, so Philippi and many other areas are having their power rationed. It was one of those days that reminds you where it is you're working--power shuts down, only Mama Pilisani knows why, and nobody knows when it will be on again. Our team was stressed because it meant that we could not use some of the tools necessary for the tasks we were trying to accomplish before the weekend. This inconvenience faded away for me when one of the woman responded to our questions about the power--"I don't know when it will be on again. I just hope it comes back before dinner time, or we will go to bed hungry. We need the electricity to cook, and we can't afford to go buy KFC." (Side note for context, KFC is by far the most popular fast food chain here, and there is one right down the street from the safe house). I couldn't stop thinking about this as I ate my meal that night. Although we are working under impressive conditions, considering the area that the safe house is in, it is a stark reminder of the difficulties they face.
Some days, the work here seems hard. We are pulling long hours and working our butts off, in the hot sun and the constant wind, only to come home for hours of debating in meetings or writing and editing material. There is constant stress, because we so badly want to succeed in our project yet we simply can't fix everything that we'd like to. Some mornings I wake up just not feeling ready to do it all over again--feeling tired, missing home, and more physically exhausted than I can ever remember feeling before.
But the, something always happens. God is always sending me reminders of His love and of His plan--that this is exactly where He wants me to be. Friday, it was a little girl whose name I can't pronounce. She followed me around almost all day, constantly seeking my attention and affection. She's young and her English is not very good, so most of this was just hugs and smiles, and showing off her "toys" (a garden shovel, a tire cast aside, a piece of string, etc.) At one point, I was shoveling the last of the holes for the playground. I was feeling hungry and tired, my group was stressed and my two nine year old "helpers" for shoveling had gone to find something else to do, and I felt so deeply frustrated I wanted to just quit. But then my little girl came along, so happy and excited to show me how she could count in English. As I worked, I focused on the numbers in her beautiful, melodic voice: "...28! 29! 40! 41! 42! 43! 45! 45! 45! 47! 48! 49! 70!"
I couldn't help but smile. Her counting wasn't perfect, but it was done with such enthusiasm that I couldn't bear to correct it. How could I complain about being tired when I have the opportunity to love such beautiful kids? How could I feel frustrated when I get to be a part of improving their recovery?
We only have one week left for field work at the safe house. Although it's been a ton of work, I can't believe our time is almost finished. God is teaching me so much through them. These women and children have been betrayed and hurt by what they thought was love. Yet True Love brings them back to the joy and peace and hope they thought was never coming back. They sing worship songs in Xhosa and tell me how their faith is sustaining them through a darker time than I have ever experienced. He is teaching me to see what is around me, not just to feel guilty about it but to love as deeply as I can. He is showing me what it means to work as hard as I can, motivated by love and purpose. He reveals Himself every day through the beauty of the landscape, and even more through the beauty of the people.
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