Saying Goodbye

"It always seems impossible until it's done." --Nelson Mandela
I can't believe I'm writing this, but my IQP is complete. It feels like I've been here forever, yet where has all the time gone?

We finished our field work last Friday, and this past week has been a frenzy of writing and editing as we compiled our final documents recording the progress that we've made (you can explore our project here!!). It was one of the hardest weeks of my life, but I am so proud of my team and how hard everyone has worked. There was lots of stress, laughter, and even some tears. Yet somehow, we submitted the last of our assignments Wednesday night, our final presentations were yesterday, and now after 14 weeks of work, we are done.

The day that we left, all the residents and staff of Sizakuyenza prepared a lunch for us to say thank you and celebrate all of the things we'd accomplished together. All the research and planning in the world could not have prepared me for this part of the project. Nobody can explain to you what it feels like to tell a little girl that no, you won't be coming back tomorrow, or to hear everyone express their gratitude to you when you feel like you should be the one thanking them, or to look around and realize that you're seeing this place for the last time. I kept on thinking about the very first time that we had lunch with the residents, and all that had happened between that first day we met and the day we were saying goodbye. It felt like we went from the first meal and the last meal far too quickly. I think part of me still hasn't realized that I'll never be back there, I'm still thinking I may go back on Monday ready to paint another room or tackle another project in the yard. The house mother, social worker, and one of the residents made speeches for us to say thank you for everything, telling us how they would remember us forever and that we would be so blessed for our giving. All I could think is, we are the lucky ones. We are the ones who should be saying thank you. God was so good to me to give me the opportunity to share life with these people, even just for a short while.

Then yesterday we got to reunite again, for a little while. Almost all of the residents came with the two house mothers, and many brought their children along as well. So when our turn came to present, we had children sleeping (and snoring) in front of us, and each woman giggling and pointing excitedly whenever she saw a picture of herself in our Power Point. Final presentations for IQP are often a very formal affair, but this one felt so casual and organic--it may have bothered some people, but I couldn't have loved it more. I looked at the rows in front of me and saw a beautiful, quirky, strong, incredible quilt of a family. And they consider us family too.

Saying goodbye was one of the most heartbreaking things I had ever done. One of the kids who hadn't left my side all afternoon began to cry, not understanding why her mom was pulling her away from me. Of course, I was already crying along with several of the women and other members of my team. Andisiwe, the social worker at the safe house, gave each of us a frame with a quote on the front and handwritten notes and Bible verses on the back. Mama Pilisani refused to say goodbye, only "Until next time." It's painful to think that "next time" might not be until we all get to heaven. But my heart is full with the idea of getting to spend eternity with some of the people I've met at Sizakuyenza--whose faith has strengthened me, hope has inspired me, and love has forever changed me.

My journey in Cape Town is coming quickly to a close. (I haven't been able to blog here nearly as much as I wish I could! I'm sorry that the wifi situation hasn't been conducive to me sharing my thoughts on everything too often, and I haven't been able to post pictures for several weeks now. Can't wait to update you all soon!) In only a couple days I will be getting on a plane and heading back to the United States. This experience has changed me, I hope. I have worked harder than ever before, motivated by love for some of the strongest people I have ever met. I have always wanted to travel the world ad help people. This has shown me how incredible, and difficult, that can be. I don't know what the future holds, but during these two months this is exactly where God wanted me. I am so sad to leave and so excited to go home at the same time. For the moment, I am trying to just celebrate all that has been accomplished (through me, but also in me) and savor every moment in this amazing place for the little time that I have left.